Empty, not Elated
Six weeks ago I crossed the finish line at the White Lake Half, securing my first win as a professional triathlete. This result looked great on paper – but a result never tells an athlete’s full story. I always imagined my first pro victory would be a momentous, emotional event, and this held true – but not in the way I had always pictured. What I experienced when I crossed the line was not an overflow of positive feelings, as one would expect. On the contrary: what I experienced was a complete feeling of demoralisation after what should have been one of the biggest accomplishments of my career to date, and an utter lack of enjoyment in any part of the 4 hours and 20 minutes I had just spent on the race course. I’ve had subpar races before, but this was different. Not only did I perform significantly below my capabilities, but I felt devoid of any fight. I had gone into the race with no excitement and no desire to be there, and after the fact, I was left with a sinking feeling that I n